Wednesday 1 August 2012

Open letter: Let them be married | Express Online

Open letter: Let them be married

The upcoming vote to legalise gay marriage in New Zealand is one of the most important and momentous decisions that gay and lesbian kiwis will ever face. However, a favourable vote is not guaranteed on this issue, and it demands your help in order to convince many MPs to switch their votes from NO to YES.

I am sure many of you are quite comfortable with drafting up a convincing and heartfelt letter to your local representative. I am also aware that some people find writing difficult or time-consuming, but they would still like to make a difference. Mindful of my own hubris, I wish to share with you the letter I wrote to my own MP, Simon O?Connor (Tamaki). I have shared this letter with some members of the GLBT community, and they have asked if they could copy it and use it, which is why I felt it might find good purpose in this editorial. If you like it, please feel free to use it in full or modify it as necessary.

Dear Mr. O?Connor,

As one of your Tamaki constituents, I am writing to you to strongly encourage you to vote YES in favour of the gay marriage bill.

While not a member of the gay community myself, many of my dearest friends are gay or lesbian. This is a matter of critical importance to them. The current definition of marriage excludes these individuals. Gay couples want their relationships to be perceived as equally valid as those between straight couples. Calling a relationship between two people a ?civil union? is distinctly different than a marriage. These people want to be able to refer to their loved one as ?husband? or ?wife.? ?These terms are definitive, with deep cultural and social meaning. ?Husband? and ?wife? are terms everyone understands at first blush. Instead, gays couples are left to refer to each other at best as ?partners? ? a term easily confused with its many other meanings. Husband and wife are, at least in principle, intended to be lifelong definitions. ?Partner? is typically seen as something much more ephemeral, or at least temporary. By its very nature alone, the available term ?partner? for gay couples implies that their relationships are perceived as less important, less long-lasting, and less meaningful.

If being able to crystallise their relationships into marriage was not so important to these people, why would gays and lesbians have fought so long for the right to marriage? Many of my dearest gay friends here eagerly await the time when they can be married. ?For them, a domestic partnership or civil union is not an option. They want the real thing.

There are many grounds against which the right to gay marriage has been fought. ?However, these grounds have always proved to be without merit. For instance, one of the most popular arguments is that ?being gay is a choice. However, the American Psychiatric Association, the American Psychological Association, and the major professional mental health associations have all gone on record affirming that homosexuality is a normal expression of sexuality. Furthermore, they conclude that individuals do not generally choose their sexual orientation. No credible evidence supports a finding that an individual may, through conscious decision, therapeutic intervention, or any other method, change his or her sexual orientation. Furthermore, other credible studies support that homosexual feelings are a basic part of an individual?s psyche and are established much earlier than conscious choice would indicate.

I am not asking you to support gay marriage on the basis that gays and lesbians choose to be gay or lesbian. Rather, I am asking you to recognise gays and lesbians as gays and lesbians, who have as much choice about their sexual orientation as straight people have about being straight. It is time that a progressive society like New Zealand acknowledges that ? although not pleasant to some ? the gay and lesbian sexual orientation is perfectly natural, prevalent, and worth recognising as such.

My wife and I respectively ask you to join Mr. John Key in voting YES in favour of the gay marriage bill.

Jason Kennedy and Amani Wahaab
Managing directors of nzjewelleryonline.com

Source: http://www.gayexpress.co.nz/2012/08/open-letter-let-them-be-married/

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